I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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