i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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