Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dignity is for republicans.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Vodka?
Forever.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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