Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize