I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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