dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
if only i could text you this smell
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We had sex on a dog bed..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
