Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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