i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
