Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
