What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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