THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
