he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
