JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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