summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
