i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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