Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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