I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize