i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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