like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
