But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
