Only a mothe r could love this liver
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
