Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
