is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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