We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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