I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Fuck appropriateness.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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