Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
