shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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