my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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