So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
