Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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