Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
