In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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