New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
