i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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