he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
