I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
