he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
