o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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