Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
