16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
