I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
