how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize