TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
