He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
