wake up i wanna do it froggy style
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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