Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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