You're completely useless in the revolution.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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