Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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