She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
