someone get that fucking seahorse.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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