We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
