she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
