I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I will be naked everywhere
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
