ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
