I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
