I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
