he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
