they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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