Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
