I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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