The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
